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A pdf copy of the play can be downloaded for reading purposes only. Please do not distribute or perform without my authority. I trust you. DOWNLOAD
This play could be described as absurdist or surreal. It carries on from How Not to Write a Play . The cast is two males and two females.
ROD: A male in a business suit.
AMY: A fashionably dressed female.
BRAD: A male dressed in a gorilla suit (or some other animal or fabulous beast) with conventional casual clothing underneath.
DAPHNE: A female dressed as a Greek goddess (or in some other extravagant way) with conventional housewife's clothing underneath.
The characters AMY and ROD (RODERICK) carry through from the previous play. Two new characters are introduced, their spouses, who are initially nebulous. BRAD is an airline pilot and dressed in a gorilla costume. DAPHNE is dressed as a Greek goddess. The dialogue is circuitous and repetitive. It appears that the two sets of characters are having cross relationships. The Russet Hippalector is offstage in the toilet chewing theatre critics. By the end of the play the two new characters become more real people, BRADLEY a poet and DIANNE, a housewife..
THEY ARE SITTING AT A SMALL TABLE IN THE AIRPORT BAR. THE SET COULD POSSIBLY BE SURREALIST.
ROD: The cranes are flying.
AMY: What did you say?
ROD: I said the cranes are flying.
AMY: Where?
ROD: Over the steppes of Siberia. They fly across the face of the gelid moon which rises calm and serene above the frozen lake.
AMY: Very poetic. But what do you mean when you say the cranes are flying?
ROD: Something deep and significant.
AMY: I know that, but what particular deep and significant thing are you thinking of?
ROD: It cannot be expressed in words.
AMY: But you just did express it in words, you said 'the cranes are flying'.
ROD: But what I really meant was something quite different from what those words expressed.
AMY: Such as?
ROD: Well for example, "I really love you deeply, from the depths of my heart, but cannot tell you because you have a violent husband who is insanely jealous."
AMY: My husband is not violent.
ROD: It was just an example. Anyway he is jealous.
AMY: Perhaps. Do you really love me?
ROD: All I said was that the cranes are flying.
AMY: And there are a multitude of meanings behind that simple phrase?
ROD: There may be.
AMY: This is all very enigmatic.
ROD: It's meant to be. You see we are unable to express our true feelings and intentions, hence we are required utter mundane phrases which mask what we really think.
AMY: Most esoteric. Shall we have another cocktail?
ROD: I have to drive.
AMY: Do you?
ROD: I think so.
AMY: What are we waiting here for anyway.
ROD: We are waiting for your husband to arrive.
AMY: What husband?
ROD: We just discussed your husband. His name is Brad and he's an airline pilot.
AMY: Oh. Yes. That one. His name is Brad and he's an airline pilot. I must make a note of it. (TAKES A SMALL DIARY FROM HER HANDBAG AND MAKES A NOTE.) There, that's settled. He is the jealous type you say?
ROD: No, not particularly.
AMY: That's good. Why are we waiting for him?
ROD: Because he's bringing in flight 456 and that's the end of his shift.
AMY: I don't understand why it's necessary for us to be here.
ROD: He needs a lift home.
AMY: Can't he drive?
ROD: He's had his licence suspended, for drunk driving.
AMY: Drunk driving? And he can still fly a plane?
ROD: Apparently.
AMY: It still doesn't explain why we're both here.
ROD: I'm his best friend and you can't drive.
AMY: Why did I come at all then?
ROD: So we can establish the eternal triangle.
AMY: You have all the answers.
ROD: Naturally.
THE ROOSTER CROWS. BRAD ENTERS. HE IS IN A GORILLA SUIT BUT IS CARRYING AN AIRLINE BAG. HE TAKES OFF HIS HEAD AND GIVES AMY A DOMESTIC KISS.
BRAD: Hello darling.
AMY: Brad. Are you going to a fancy dress ball?